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Archive for August, 2008

Job @ Rolex: Be Precise

August 30th, 2008 2 comments

dear friends and visitors

there is a job opening at Rolex, the famous international watch manufacturer

Job Title: Watch Precision Manager

Job Description: make sure all Rolex watches are being precise by fixing their internal mechanics

Job Requirements: PhD in time precision (he should also teach the future generations how to be precise)

Job Location: Geneva, Switzerland

Working hours: start @ 08:10 or 08:20 or 08:30 and finish @ 17:59:59 (remember this is a precision job)

Salary: 1 Million Dollars (precision job needs to be well paid)

Extra: a fast car with 500hp FULL TURBO (don’t forget to wait 30 minutes before turning the engine off, the Turbo needs to cool down or it cracks)

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Hani, this is dedicated to you

August 28th, 2008 No comments

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Genpets™

August 28th, 2008 1 comment

Say Hello to the all New Genpets™ from Bio.Genica!
The Genpets™ are Pre-Packaged, Bioengineered pets implemented today!
That’s right, Genpets are not toys or robots. They are living, breathing genetic animals.
They use a process called ‘Zygote Micro Injection‘ which is quickly becoming a favorable method to combine DNA, or to insert certain proteins from different species. Most notably it was used in 1997 to splice mice with bio luminescent jellyfish and has since been used to create glowing rabbits, pigs, fish, and monkeys. Since then, human DNA has been injected into rabbits, chimpanzees, spider DNA into sheep, and now, Genpets have arrived!

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Marketing team in action

August 28th, 2008 2 comments

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Change with a smile

August 27th, 2008 No comments

By Alexander Kjerulf

Why must change in organizations be so hard?

No company can thrive and survive if it can’t adapt and innovate and yet there’s an almost universal cry going up today that “change is tough and takes too much time and energy!”

You’ll have upper management on one side pushing for innovation, employees on the other side clinging to the old ways and middle managers caught (where else?) in the middle trying to actually get stuff done. Sound familiar?

My work with organizations all over the world has shown me that there is one vital factor that is being overlooked practically everywhere. One factor that can not only help companies change more rapidly and effectively but which contributes massively to the bottom line. That factor is happiness at work.

Here are the top three reasons why happy companies change more effectively and painlessly.

1: Happy people get more ideas
In times of change, companies cannot rely on the old ways of doing business and thus need new ideas. Preferably lots of them. And a fascinating study by Teresa Amabile of Harvard Business School shows that creativity is positively associated with joy and love and negatively associated with anger, fear, and anxiety. In other words, happy employees generate more ideas.

2: Happy people buy into new ideas.
It’s not enough to generate lots of ideas, you also need people to believe enough in them to actually want to implement them. Many managers work from a belief that change comes from dissatisfaction, pain and unhappiness, but psychological research proves them wrong. It turns out that what a business needs is optimists. Optimistic employees believe that change projects will pay off and are thus much more likely to commit. Unhappy, pessimistic employees only see all the ways a project can fail and often only go along on the surface – offering compliance rather than commitment.

3: Happy people implement new ideas.
And finally, once you have the ideas and people buy into them, you need to have the motivation to actually do something about it. And once again research shows that happy, satisfied employees are much more motivated. In fact, while managers must constantly work help dissatisfied employees find their motivation, happy employees motivate themselves. If you like the company you work for, you want the company to succeed – if you hate your workplace, you don’t give a damn.

In short, happy companies change willingly and effectively, while their unhappy competitors cling to business as usual and throw up massive resistance to all things new and uncertain.

And it doesn’t stop there. Additional research shows that happy workplaces are more productive, have happier customers and (most importantly) make more money! Unhappy workplaces on the other hand waste huge sums on high absenteeism and employee turnover rates. One Danish company reduced their absenteeism from around 20% to less than 1% and their annual employee turnover from 25% to almost nothing – simply by becoming a happy workplace. It’s incredibly easy (but potentially depressing) to calculate how much money similar improvements could save your company every single month.

In fact, studies indicate that happiness at work is the most important success factor for businesses today. Don’t just take my word for it. Richard Branson of Virgin says that “More than anything, fun is the secret behind Virgin’s success” and Apple CEO Steve Jobs says that “The only way to do great work is to love what you do.” Many other hugely successful companies like Google, Disney Southwest Airlines and SAS Institute also focus relentlessly on employee happiness – because it helps them change and grow and make more money.

And the good news is that happiness at work ain’t rocket science. Any company, big or small, public or private, can do it, provided it is willing to engage both managers and employees in efforts to create a happy workplace, where people actually enjoy themselves and look forward to coming, rather than one where they show up reluctantly to do as little as they can get away with.

This piece was originally written for the South African management magazine Strictly Business.

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Hungry USB

August 27th, 2008 No comments

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Balcony in Japan

August 20th, 2008 No comments

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Memories

August 8th, 2008 No comments

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Abou Zouheir & Shatilbara2a Championship

August 6th, 2008 No comments

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Masturbation world record!

August 6th, 2008 No comments

Tudor Rosca is the king of masturbation. In a stunning feat of endurance and determination, Tudor Rosca achieved 36 orgasms in a 24 hour period!
Sleeping intermittently during the 24 hour marathon, Tudor Rosca remained focused and aroused by his impressive library of pornographic films. With over 400 films in his library and 3 televisions playing movies at all times, he had a continuous stream of footage to aid him in his quest.

It is apparent by the massive development of the muscles in his forearm that Tudor Rosca is not your average masturbator. In an interview with UJ reporters after the record setting event, Tudor Rosca was quoted as saying, “masturbation for me is a way of life. I’ve been training for this day since I was 13 years old and I’m happy with my performance today”.

This record was formerly held by German Student, Hans Blickstein who achieved 27 orgasms in a 24 hour period. Mr. Blickstein was not available for comment.

When asked what his next world record achievement would be, Tudor Rosca said “my immediate goal is to get a bag of ice and some lotion on my penis to soothe the burning”.

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George & Crocs

August 6th, 2008 No comments

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Shift Happens

August 1st, 2008 No comments
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